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Thursday, November 3, 2011

I Miss You Too

No, this isn't about my missing a week. I do appreciate my readers, believe me, but this is about my daughter. My heart was broken for the millionth time. I was driving Casey to her mother's place, and she and I started talking about me missing her when we weren't together. I told her that I missed her very much and that I was sad when I didn't get to see her. Casey started bawling.

This was no mild lip out eye watering. She was howling. It was horrible. I reached back and held her hand. I asked her what was wrong, and she said "ow." Ow, but nothing was really hurt. I knew exactly how she felt. When I was about nine or ten, we had a Great Dane that had to be put to sleep. She was old and sick. We all went to the vet. I was in the back seat with the dog, and her paws were across my lap. I kept petting her, knowing what was about to happen. I couldn't hold it back anymore. I just started crying. When I was asked what was wrong, I said that the dog's paw scratched me. I was just sad.

It sucks to be apart. I get sad about it sometimes, but I look at Casey's pictures on my phone and smile. I keep thinking that one of these days things will be better. I have to think that, because I have to convince her. It was hard not to cry in the car with her. I held it together. When we got out of the car, I held Casey tight and told her that I'm always here, and she can call me on the phone any time she wants when we aren't together. It made her feel better.

When her mother opened the door, Casey's tears were still visible. After explaining what happened, her mother started to tear up. She repeated to Casey that she could call me any time. It was nice to see that she was effected by this. It gives me a little hope for the future. Maybe one day we can work out a better arrangement. I'd love more time with Casey, and I think she'd love more time with me.

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