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Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Bug

There's something that I've wondered about for some time. I've been curious to know whether or not Casey would ever want to be an entertainer. It's not something I'd ever push her to do. In fact, I'd me more inclined to discourage it, but I wouldn't really do that either. I just wish I knew if she had that bug. Today was her first live performance in front of an audience, and I think I may have gotten my answer.

Her school put on a small Christmas show. Kids from three age groups learned several carols and even learned sign language for one of them. Casey sang one of the songs for me earlier in the week, but it was a little under her breath. There's no doubt that she has stage fright. I did at one point, but the difference between her and me is that once I'm on stage, I open up. She completely shut down today.

It took only a second to know this wasn't going to work. Once the class walked out to the stage area, she came out with a bad look on her face. She eventually saw me, but my wave didn't help. She immediately started bawling. At first, it was just her. I immediately claimed her as I recorded video on the whole thing. As time went on, two other kids joined in the tearfest. It was glorious.

I didn't mind it, and I was somewhat relieved. This is a troublesome life. I don't want her to feel like she constantly needs attention from strangers. It's fun sometimes, but it's very odd. She was dying to get out of her costume and clean herself up. This kid was ready to run for the hills, and she did.

When it's the two of us, we can sing and dance and make up songs. That's the best time you could ask for. Casey's not a big fan of strangers, and it carries to every end of her personality. I'm good with that. I think she'll be fine working quietly in a lab on the cure for cancer.

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